Long overdue....

Well, I started this blog then let it go but now I'm going to resurrect it for my own purposes but am glad to have friends, strangers, anyone needing motivation following along!

So to back track, I did compete in the 2 figure shows this spring. I had an incredible time & absolutely loved the stage! The prep wasnt too bad, the glitz of it all was too fun & the sense of accomplishment was something that I can never replace. The first show was great & then I had a 3 week period before the second. I had changed coaches between shows to work with someone more local. I learned some lessons there about what hardcore bodybuilding prep is like. Wow it's intense. I was much leaner for the second show but did not look good. I came in looking skinny. I actually refer to it as my "skeletor" look. Still had a great time though!

Once the shows were over, I took a week off from dieting of any sort & a week from the gym. It was great & it was nice to just do nothing for that week. I got back on the horse after than following the off-season plan from my coach.

This is where something went wrong. As I ate healthfully & trained as instructed, the weight began to creep on. Well, some gain was expected for the time being but not matter how well I ate or how spot on my training was, I continued to gain more & more. It was alarming to say the least.

Fast forward to the last week in July when asked by Mandy Polk (IFBB Fitness Pro) "are you okay?" Wow, windfall...I was not. After a 2 hour phone call with Mandy, I decided to work with her to repair my damaged metabolism. The process was a bit crazy, no workouts for a full two weeks & I was eating a ton of food. I almost felt as if I was force feeding myself at times but it was worth it to feel better. My body responded rather quickly but the rollercoaster of emotions was not so fun during the process. For the first time in a couple months though, my body finally maintained. As calories increased though, I gained more weight.

Last weekend, I hit a breaking point with the gains & just realized that I could not continue with the repair. I have a family history of heart disease & the extra weight makes me VERY nervous (understatement.) It's not about vanity at this point because ironically I'm leaner than I was in the past at this weight. So that can be a bonus. Although very much encouraged to stay the course & continue with the last few weeks of repair, I just cannot do it.

Do know how grateful I am to Mandy for even asking if I was okay & for taking time to get me healthier. I may not be fully "recovered" from the failed metabolism & want to take some of this extra fluff off but I've learned how to not do it stupid. No more overtraining, overcardio-ing & no more crazy restrictive dieting!

I do want to compete again someday though. I absolutely loved it but for the meantime I'm hanging up my hooker heels & blinged out suits.

So you may ask....what do I want to do? Well, I wanna rock (lol.) Nah, really I want to start running again....

I started with my best friend back in 2003 & was hooked. I've now completed the following:

2 full marathons
3 half marathons
1 10K (6.2 miles)
1 10 miler
Several other races at various distances.

Oh & I've done a triathlon as a team (did the running leg.)

So on Thanksgiving, I've convinced (well, I think I have) Kevin to run the Turkey Trot with me in Valpo. From there, I'm thinking of the Valparaiso Mini Marathon again in the spring. It's a half marathon & a great course through our city.

As for eating, I'm just going with the flow. I'm eating when I'm hungry (duh, right!), eating what I want within reason (still keeping mostly to healthy choices) & enjoying some yummy (naughty) eats on the weekends. Balance is the name of the game & living life is what it's about.

Here's a note from a friend that really says it best about finding that happy place or balance if you will... (hope you dont mind, K!)

... remember the days when we were just trying to lose weight? Big picture? Grilled chicken instead of fried, ice cream a couple times a week, and fruit and veggies were enough to make it healthy? Remember when we ran, did weights, yoga, swam, and were just plain active and we didn't care about muscle loss or v-tapers? Remember when we didn't care how many grams of protein we ate b/c we were just happy to be eating a little better than McDonalds for 3 in our car? Remember when the scale went down despite conflicting goals of GAIN MUSCLE/LOSE WEIGHT/MAINTAIN :choose damn it, pick one, only one!

Sometimes those of us that have been involved in the fitness industry become too focused on eating amount of protein, x amount of carbs & OMG did I eat enough fat....

Take a lesson from a child. Eat what you want when you are hungry, eat until you are satisfied & you'll be fine.

So this is my journey to finding that happy place. Join me if you'd like, lurk if you will or comment if you feel it.....

It may be bumpy along the way but it'll be worth the ride!