Thursday, January 29, 2009

2 sleeps til the weekend!

I'm so looking forward to this weekend. We are taking an overnight trip to Chicago via the train. It's the best way to travel in the Region! No wasted money on parking which means more fun things to do! Not really sure of the agenda other than getting a super cool hotel at a great price through Hotwire. Dinner out, wandering Chicago, lunch on Sunday before heading home to get goodies ready for the Super Bowl.

Things are good this week though today I've been struck with some raging hunger! I've eaten all the food I brought for the day & some extra crackers too (anyone tried the All Bran Multigrain crackers? Yummy!) As I think about it, this seems to be the trend towards the end of the week for me. I eat really well during the week to allow for more "open" weekends. So by the end of the week between training, running & calorie deficit it starts to take it's toll. Just one more day since we are heading out tomorrow to watch the VU vs. Butler game on ESPN U. Wings & beer anyone?

Had some random thoughts running through my head today for blog purposes but once again they've escaped me.

There was the woman at the post office though that almost ran me over to park *right* by the door (where no parking exists.) She turned on her hazards then trotted right in. I was irked because I wondered why is she being so lazy that she doesnt want to take an extra 5 steps. I remembered being a large person (like she was) & realized I was probably judged too for things I did so I stopped myself from taking those thoughts any further.

Really alot of nothing going on here.

Training is ON.
Running is going really well.
Eats are good, where they should be & keeping me satisfied (minus today!)

Have you figured out what you are going to let go of yet? (see Sunday's note)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Feeling good!

Today finds me feeling much better & even getting hungry again! I'm really trying to feel that "hunger" & not just eat by the clock because that's what I've been conditioned to do in the last 1.5 years. I never ate that way before so learning my body's natural cues again is interesting. But it's definitely a good thing!

This morning I rocked out a 40 min run! It felt amazing & I swear I could've kept going. But there's the whole need to shower, eat & get to work thing. I also slept in a bit so time was not on my side.

Interestingly enough, I've shared alot about my battles with post-show metabolic damage & that recovery process. I've also mentioned that my body is back to full function. Well, this week with PMS another function has returned. Well, not the cycle itself but something else that used to happen during this time. I wont elaborate for fear of TMI but let's just say that just when I thought I was TOTALLY functional my body surprised me...cramping, this & some other stuff. But still no period..that'll continue as long as I'm on this pill. But it was just another reminder that my body feels better & things are working properly.

Food was ON yesterday & training was good.

Things are on target for today too & in fact my tummy is starting to growl. Good stuff all around!

Nothing ramble worthy in my mind at the moment but the day's still young!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Weekly Plan

Morning & happy birthday to my Daddy! I think I may have blogged (maybe not) that he forgot my birthday this year. He felt totally horrible about it & even told me that I could forget his. There's NO way that I could do that. I baked him some brownies & gave him a super funny card!

I thought I'd post up my plan for this week.

Sunday: Off
Monday: FB training
Tuesday: 30-40 min run or elliptical
Wednesday: FB training
Thursday: 30-40 min run or elliptical
Friday: FB training
Saturday: 8 mile long run

I'm not feeling well today. I've felt like I've been fighting off a dirty little bug the last few days & today feels no better. I'm not really hungry though making myself eat a little bit. I may not be posting meals this week as a result. Hunger's non-existant thus I wont be getting my cals in.

This weekend we are taking an early Valentine's getaway to Chicago. We'll take the train is which is always nice & easy. Then we dont have to worry about giving up a paycheck to park in the city!

Not much else to update at the moment. I had a subject swirling through my head last night as I fell asleep but it's gone for now. It'll come back when it's ready!

Make this week count!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Who turned off the heat????

Sunday, 01/25/09
Training: Off
Cardio: Off

Bagel, whole egg & 2% cheese slice
Pumpkin, ricotta, SF pudding powder & lite cool whip
Lean turkey sausage, 2% cheese slice & wheat bun
Crackers & goat cheese

Notes: I planned to head to the gym to do some easy cardio but am staying home instead. It's frigid cold outside again so I dont really want to go out again.

ETA: We are now eating out for dinner with Kevin's parents so that will be an "off" meal. It'll be good though!

Headed to church this morning & my best friend was at first service. It was nice to sit with her. We are like little kids sometimes & my Dad just gives us the look! lol

Service today was about "letting go." Call it confession or whatever you like but it was about letting go of the things that bring you guilt, keep you from moving forward, etc. I dont think you have to be a Christian to follow that practice.

The really cool thing was that you were given a half sheet of paper when you came in & during service were able to write down the things that hold you back, create guilt in your soul or whatever you just need to let go of. Once you did that there was a time where you could make your way to the front & let them go. It was literal & you put your paper through a little shredder.

I'll be honest, it was liberating to do that....I move forward today with hopes of leaving those things there. Allowing for the guidance to not take them back into my heart which would only let them continue to fester once again.

I have to work through it but I see how a choice this morning was already "letting go" in the works.

What will you let go of today?

Friday & Saturday recap!

I had trouble accessing the blog site on Friday so here's my attempt to catch up! I see my list of blogs I read has also disappeared! Boooo!

Friday, 01/23/09
Training: FB workout & abs
Cardio: Off

Rice cake, PB2 & SF jam
Whole eggs (2), english muffin, goat cheese & a few crackers
Kashi bar & yogurt with pumpkin butter
Subway chicken with cheese; light chips
Yogurt with pumpkin butter
Wings, potato wedges & beer (best meal of the day!)

Notes: Legs seem tired today even after a day off yesterday. Long run for the weekend is only 3 miles so I'll do that solo though not sure what day. Wanted to be outside but the temp is going WAY below freezing overnight!
Saturday, 01/24/09
Training: Off
Cardio: 3 mile run & 25 min easy bike

Eats: Cheat day
Not the usual planned meals but it included candy corn & peanuts, rice cakes & PB2, lowfat chicken buffalo bites, light bagels with light cream cheese, lean turkey sausage & homemade shells with cheese (didnt turn out quite right though.) Oh & my super naughty treat was some Haagen Daas Peppermint Bark ice cream (white chocolate ice cream with peppermint & chocolate bits!!!) OMG, delish!

Went to the VU game & they lost but it was a valiant effort. The team is growing & will be a contender in the league in the next few years.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bonus for today!

I wanted to share this here. It was a post in response to a thread on the Oxygen forum that asks "are you happy with your body." I've been talking with a friend today about body issues, etc, so my mind was fresh in the moment after having just emailed her back. So I wanted to put this out there.....

-I do realize that my body is healthy, functioning properly & I feel great. Weight is a blip on the radar is not keeping me from being me.

-So while yes, I'd love to drop that 15 pounds that my ass seems to be carrying around. I will remind myself that it doesnt define me, my passions, my friends or anything about me!

-It's a battle I've waged my WHOLE life & I chose at 37 to not let it be a battle any longer.

-I'm going to eat well (90%) of the time, lift weights, run like the wind & enjoy the life given to me!

-Then when 40 rolls around, I can see that I've not wasted anymore time worrying about things that don't really matter!

Why? Because life it too short!


I think at some point I'm going to run out of snazzy titles. Or perhaps I have already because "hmmmm" isnt really snazzy is it? Ah well.

It's Thursday which has equated to "date night" since October 2006 when Kevin & I started dating. It started with dinner at my house usually, watched Grey's then morphed into VU (Valparaiso University) men's basketball nights. So here we are almost 2.5 years later & it still stands. Except now date nights filter into the weekends which is fine by me!

Tonight's agenda is dinner out (someone doesnt feel like cooking) so I suggested a "you pick, I pay" deal then we headed to VU for the game. The team is very green & not having a good season but they have fresh talent & some great kids joining us for next season. It's still fun to watch. Some of you may remember the winning shot that Bryce Drew took to win a NCAA tourney game. Google it...I dare you! It was actually shown this past weekend as a highlight clip before a NFL playoff game! Cool stuff..right in our backyard!

Recap for 01/22/09
Training: Off
Cardio: Off

*Egg whites, peppers, onions, 2% cheese & english muffin
*Apple (forgot my granola bar)
*Cedar Lane burrito & yogurt
*Apple & pumpkin butter (oh so good!)
*Goat cheese & All Bran crackers
*Chili's Guiltless grilled buffalo chicken sandwich & veggies

Notes: It was GREAT to have today off. I did run last night after work (legs hated me) but it was equally nice to sleep in & I actually went to bed at 830pm last night. I was soooo tired & just quit fighting it. I didn't roll out of bed until 6am! Woot!

Food is seemingly light prior to dinner. That is sorta on purpose today (didnt mean to forget the granola bar) to allow for more room for a splurge if so chosen at dinner. I put the idea out there to try to eat at Noodles & Co. We've tried but they are always packed so have yet to make it there. Otherwise, our old standby of Chili's, Friday's or BW-3 will always be there.

I've also taken time today to make connections with friends. It was important & something that I needed to do! I cherish my friendships & those that are dear to me. Things happen but you know that your friends are always going to be there for you!

And I want to thank everyone for the really sweet, encouraging & insightful comments! It's great to have everyone following along!

Stay warm!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

And the dailies begin....

So I'm going to *try* to keep this updated daily. That means likely letting my other journal fade into the sunset but I think that may be best for the meantime.

Recap for 01/21/09
Training: FB workout
Cardio: 30 min run & 5 min cool down

Rice cake, PB2 & light cool whip (sounds odd but it's yummy!)
Egg whites, ground turkey breast, peppers & onions, 2% cheese & english muffin
Granola bar & banana
Cedar Lane burrito & yogurt
Refried black beans, wheat tortillas, 2% cheese & light ranch

Notes: Cardio is tentative as noted. I have my shoes & shorts to get a run in after work with the thought that I could sleep in a bit tomorrow instead of heading to the gym before work. I'm sleepy though & not feeling it so I will decide on the way home.

ETA: Completed cardio as noted above & added final meal.

I mentioned yesterday that I'm working with a friend on accountability. The premise of the "exercise" is based on Bob Green's Best Life book. He presents questions. I thought I'd share one of the ones that is weighing heavily on my mind today.

What is keeping you from your goal? Emotionally and literally...

This really makes me think. I think I have a defeatist attitude maybe. Like I got there once & that was my chance. I blew trying to do better than that. Healthy goal weight wasn’t enough so I competed & now that backfired on me so I feel maybe I didn’t deserve the goal weight. (WOW, I don’t ever think I’ve “said” that outloud. That makes me sad.)

Literally, I’m gripped by fear that I just don’t have it in me anymore. That I have to plan plan plan to make it work even though I know that’s not the be all end all of what will take me back there. I feel like there must be rules followed & I really freak out when I think I’m doing something wrong by not doing this or that, following what people think I should do, etc. I makes me feel anxious & physically nauseous sometimes. It stresses me out so much that I just don’t eat.

Something else that comes to mind is that I’ve always been the fat girl. As a child, high school, college, etc. I may have been thinner at times but always the “big girl.” I suspect in my mind I don’t wonder if I’m fated to be that person forever. I don’t want to be her, she wasn’t healthy, happy or enjoying everything that life had to offer. I don’t want to be her. Did I say that?

Somewhere in my head those thoughts exist & I didnt realize it until I really thought about it. The first portion of my response is really what hit hard for me. I never ever knew that was in my head yet it came out so clearly & without any hesitation. I'm glad though. Now I can get past it!

That's all for now.

Make your today count!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Yea, so it's me again. Coming to report in & accept my pennance for slacking on the blog. It's hard because I keep a journal at an online fitness forum so that tends to get my attention. I'd rather keep up more here with what's going on with me so I'll work to do that.

What is preferred? Daily recap? Weekly recap? Mad ramblings?

So I think I mentioned that it was "detox" time come January 15th. That started off with a bang & I've been doing great sticking to healthful eating, etc. My body is back to normal functioning FINALLY after dealing with the aftermath of metabolic damage. The extra weight is not coming off as quickly as I expected it to but I'm just not letting it get to me (well, trying anyway!) It's tough but the important thing is to have all systems go once again!

Running is going well! I'm well into my training program & feeling great. Long run last weekend was 6.5 miles. This weekend is a stepback so only 3 scheduled. Things are feeling great! Kevin got me new running shoes for my birthday so that's done. I also got a giftcard for Dick's Sporting Goods from him for Christmas so I'm going to hook myself up with some cold weather gear. We've been running inside but as the runs increase I DREAD doing anything more than 1.5 hours on the treadmill. And to be honest, even that is daunting!

Training (weights) is also going well & we've switched it up to a full body workout now that the running is increasing. I just cannot be super sore anymore & with a body part split I just push too hard. This forces me to back off the volume for a while. My body will thank me!

I spent some time catching up with Oprah's Best Life Series & watching the webcast with Bob Green. Good stuff. Definitely insightful. I'm actually doing a little thing with a friend on the side. She's responded to Bob's questions that he posed on the show then I'm going to do the same. She's my accountability partner I guess you could say. It's refreshing in the point that she has walked a similar path as I have with weight gain, loss, rebound, etc. I'm excited about it which reminds me...I need to get to those questions! I will keep her "identity" to myself but will say to her here that I'm really grateful to be doing this with her.

I suspect that's about it for now. Life is treating me well & even with the speed bumps have learned what & who is important to me!

Happy Trails!

Monday, January 5, 2009

It's on!

So here we are the official day of the New Year's Resolutioners! This translates to packed gyms, healthy foods in carts & people telling the world that they vow to do this or that for the upcoming year. In reality, that means for most that they will eat well for a few weeks (maybe), hit the gym for a month (maybe) & will realize that it's not really all that fun. Most will fade away until next year.

I recall 2 guys in my gym from last year this time. They were the 2 that really stuck with it. The younger guy faded away around September but the older guy pressed on through the end of October. I wonder if they will come back. Both lost a significant amount of weight & really changed their lives. I hope they are well & ready to face 2009 with the same zest for life!

Here's what I posted in my Oxygen journal this morning....

I see myself changing this year...for the better. My goals have completely shifted from "I want to look like this or be this # on the scale" to "I want to be healthy for my lifetime."

I got a card in the mail from WW the other day..they need leaders. I got very excited then realized that I'm not eligible since I'm not at goal.

*I want to get back to goal so I can work for WW & inspire others once again.

*I also realized this weekend that I need to take better care of my skin.

*I need to be true to myself.....always.*I will focus on the future & let go of the past. Yesterday's sermon was amazing....dont let the successes or failures of the past keep you from moving to the future! Live for today, focus on tomorrow!

I guess those are my resolutions/goals for the upcoming year!

I just want to focus on health. I've said this before but I promised my Dad, as we waited for Mom to pass, that I would stay healthy. That's my focus, that's my goal, that's priority!

What is your priority?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Where'd it go??????

I'm referring to 2008!?! The year went by soooo fast. Probably because I spent the first 5 months of it in contest prep! That made things fly by.

So here it is January 2nd already! I'm a year older, wiser & aging better than fine wine (so I tell Kevin! lol) My birthday was uneventful really. We grabbed lunch, spent the day vegging with hockey, football & a Biggest Loser marathon. Dad actually forgot my birthday...yea....really. That kinda stung a bit but today's a new day.

On tap for this year will be...

April 11: Valparaiso Mini Marathon (it's a half-marathon)
May 09: Fifth Third Bank River 25K Run (15.5 miles)

That's all that's on the radar for now though I'll probably do a fall race or two.

I supp0se I should do a 2008 year in review but really the biggest accomplishment was competing in 2 national qualifier figure shows, dealing with post-show aftermath related to metabolic damage & keeping my head in the game when that happened. It could've been a lot worse.

I've really sucked at keeping this updated but will try for at least a weekly recap though will try to do more. Ha! I said try.......

Happy New Year!