Next on tap for my trip was the Velocity High Powered tanning bed. It's a strange contraption & it's open concept tanning. Ideal for fair skin & can be used just 2-4 times a month for a very light color. You feel like you are floating on a cloud laying on the clear "bed" but it's pretty cool.
Now before anyone scolds me for tanning. It's my only vice. I'm not doing it to be uber tan but I dont like being pasty white anymore. I'm only going a couple times a week until we go to Florida then will continue just once a week. Okay...enough of that! lol
I headed to Barnes & Nobles from there, got some green tea & read some magazines. The whole time I was there, I was fixated on having something sweet. Hello pumpkin cheesecake! But I resisted.
Then I decided I'd go to the Rocky Mountain Candy Factory for a treat. Resisted again (was even in the shopping center.
Leave there & go to Target to get my script. Stalk Halloween candy, stalk the clearance treat end cap, stalk trail mix (come on girls.....you know what I'm talking about) then hit the candy aisle. Nothing.
Get home & still searching. Yes, I'm in fact hungry so I ate the freebie Kashi cookie sample that I got in the mail. Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk by the way is tasty!
Why am I fighting so hard to avoid a treat? Because I know I want to get a good cookie at Whole Foods tomorrow. Yes, I can have treats both nights if I want but I am chosing to not indulge both days. Am I still hungry? Yep so I'm sucking down some water & will find some real food here shortly.
I realized that I'm really battling the demons that want me to binge. It's a struggle on some days & not a big deal on others. Please read the blog listed to the side called "Kiss My Glutes" for some very real information about binging. Once you develop the disorder, it's always there & will truly never go away. You'll have to fight it sometimes but it's okay because it makes us stronger.
This weekend (tomorrow actually) I'm headed to watch friends compete in the Fitness America Midwest show. I think it may be hard to be there mentally knowing how much I loved competing but also how much my body has been affected as a result. Just being honest. But I fully intend to hold my head high regardless & be there to support them in spite of it all.
So that's the story of the day. Be good to yourselves ladies because if you arent then others may not be so inclined to do so either!
Be safe this weekend!