And the dailies begin....

So I'm going to *try* to keep this updated daily. That means likely letting my other journal fade into the sunset but I think that may be best for the meantime.

Recap for 01/21/09
Training: FB workout
Cardio: 30 min run & 5 min cool down

Eats
Rice cake, PB2 & light cool whip (sounds odd but it's yummy!)
Egg whites, ground turkey breast, peppers & onions, 2% cheese & english muffin
Granola bar & banana
Cedar Lane burrito & yogurt
Apple
Refried black beans, wheat tortillas, 2% cheese & light ranch

Notes: Cardio is tentative as noted. I have my shoes & shorts to get a run in after work with the thought that I could sleep in a bit tomorrow instead of heading to the gym before work. I'm sleepy though & not feeling it so I will decide on the way home.

ETA: Completed cardio as noted above & added final meal.

I mentioned yesterday that I'm working with a friend on accountability. The premise of the "exercise" is based on Bob Green's Best Life book. He presents questions. I thought I'd share one of the ones that is weighing heavily on my mind today.

What is keeping you from your goal? Emotionally and literally...

This really makes me think. I think I have a defeatist attitude maybe. Like I got there once & that was my chance. I blew trying to do better than that. Healthy goal weight wasn’t enough so I competed & now that backfired on me so I feel maybe I didn’t deserve the goal weight. (WOW, I don’t ever think I’ve “said” that outloud. That makes me sad.)

Literally, I’m gripped by fear that I just don’t have it in me anymore. That I have to plan plan plan to make it work even though I know that’s not the be all end all of what will take me back there. I feel like there must be rules followed & I really freak out when I think I’m doing something wrong by not doing this or that, following what people think I should do, etc. I makes me feel anxious & physically nauseous sometimes. It stresses me out so much that I just don’t eat.

Something else that comes to mind is that I’ve always been the fat girl. As a child, high school, college, etc. I may have been thinner at times but always the “big girl.” I suspect in my mind I don’t wonder if I’m fated to be that person forever. I don’t want to be her, she wasn’t healthy, happy or enjoying everything that life had to offer. I don’t want to be her. Did I say that?

Somewhere in my head those thoughts exist & I didnt realize it until I really thought about it. The first portion of my response is really what hit hard for me. I never ever knew that was in my head yet it came out so clearly & without any hesitation. I'm glad though. Now I can get past it!

That's all for now.

Make your today count!

Slack-tastic!

Yea, so it's me again. Coming to report in & accept my pennance for slacking on the blog. It's hard because I keep a journal at an online fitness forum so that tends to get my attention. I'd rather keep up more here with what's going on with me so I'll work to do that.

What is preferred? Daily recap? Weekly recap? Mad ramblings?

So I think I mentioned that it was "detox" time come January 15th. That started off with a bang & I've been doing great sticking to healthful eating, etc. My body is back to normal functioning FINALLY after dealing with the aftermath of metabolic damage. The extra weight is not coming off as quickly as I expected it to but I'm just not letting it get to me (well, trying anyway!) It's tough but the important thing is to have all systems go once again!

Running is going well! I'm well into my training program & feeling great. Long run last weekend was 6.5 miles. This weekend is a stepback so only 3 scheduled. Things are feeling great! Kevin got me new running shoes for my birthday so that's done. I also got a giftcard for Dick's Sporting Goods from him for Christmas so I'm going to hook myself up with some cold weather gear. We've been running inside but as the runs increase I DREAD doing anything more than 1.5 hours on the treadmill. And to be honest, even that is daunting!

Training (weights) is also going well & we've switched it up to a full body workout now that the running is increasing. I just cannot be super sore anymore & with a body part split I just push too hard. This forces me to back off the volume for a while. My body will thank me!

I spent some time catching up with Oprah's Best Life Series & watching the webcast with Bob Green. Good stuff. Definitely insightful. I'm actually doing a little thing with a friend on the side. She's responded to Bob's questions that he posed on the show then I'm going to do the same. She's my accountability partner I guess you could say. It's refreshing in the point that she has walked a similar path as I have with weight gain, loss, rebound, etc. I'm excited about it which reminds me...I need to get to those questions! I will keep her "identity" to myself but will say to her here that I'm really grateful to be doing this with her.

I suspect that's about it for now. Life is treating me well & even with the speed bumps have learned what & who is important to me!

Happy Trails!

It's on!

So here we are the official day of the New Year's Resolutioners! This translates to packed gyms, healthy foods in carts & people telling the world that they vow to do this or that for the upcoming year. In reality, that means for most that they will eat well for a few weeks (maybe), hit the gym for a month (maybe) & will realize that it's not really all that fun. Most will fade away until next year.

I recall 2 guys in my gym from last year this time. They were the 2 that really stuck with it. The younger guy faded away around September but the older guy pressed on through the end of October. I wonder if they will come back. Both lost a significant amount of weight & really changed their lives. I hope they are well & ready to face 2009 with the same zest for life!

Here's what I posted in my Oxygen journal this morning....

I see myself changing this year...for the better. My goals have completely shifted from "I want to look like this or be this # on the scale" to "I want to be healthy for my lifetime."

I got a card in the mail from WW the other day..they need leaders. I got very excited then realized that I'm not eligible since I'm not at goal.

*I want to get back to goal so I can work for WW & inspire others once again.

*I also realized this weekend that I need to take better care of my skin.

*I need to be true to myself.....always.*I will focus on the future & let go of the past. Yesterday's sermon was amazing....dont let the successes or failures of the past keep you from moving to the future! Live for today, focus on tomorrow!

I guess those are my resolutions/goals for the upcoming year!

I just want to focus on health. I've said this before but I promised my Dad, as we waited for Mom to pass, that I would stay healthy. That's my focus, that's my goal, that's priority!

What is your priority?

Where'd it go??????

I'm referring to 2008!?! The year went by soooo fast. Probably because I spent the first 5 months of it in contest prep! That made things fly by.

So here it is January 2nd already! I'm a year older, wiser & aging better than fine wine (so I tell Kevin! lol) My birthday was uneventful really. We grabbed lunch, spent the day vegging with hockey, football & a Biggest Loser marathon. Dad actually forgot my birthday...yea....really. That kinda stung a bit but today's a new day.

On tap for this year will be...

April 11: Valparaiso Mini Marathon (it's a half-marathon)
May 09: Fifth Third Bank River 25K Run (15.5 miles)

That's all that's on the radar for now though I'll probably do a fall race or two.

I supp0se I should do a 2008 year in review but really the biggest accomplishment was competing in 2 national qualifier figure shows, dealing with post-show aftermath related to metabolic damage & keeping my head in the game when that happened. It could've been a lot worse.

I've really sucked at keeping this updated but will try for at least a weekly recap though will try to do more. Ha! I said try.......

Happy New Year!

Christmas Eve, Eve.

Yep, it's almost here! The hustle & bustle of the holiday season is coming to a close..well, Christmas anyway.

Being the great procrastinator, I headed out to shop last night. BAD idea! I will need reminded next year to shop early. I'm amazed by the rudeness of people in light of the Christmas season. I guess for some it really is about the gifts or whatever. I'm just about done shopping though & just need to pick up something for Kevin's nieces then I'm golden!

I also want to bake another batch of cookies. I'm making more Santa's Surprise but this time using mini reese cups inside. I also made some more saltine toffee & then some oreo truffles. I'm more than happy to post up those recipes if anyone would like them!

Training is going well & I'm officially in week 2 of half marathon training. It's easy thus far since it's still at mileage that I've been doing. Kevin's training with me at the moment & I'm hoping he'll run the race with me. He's veto'd running the 25K with us though! Smart man! ha!

I suppose that's really it! I need to be better about updating this & will work on that for the new year.

Oh & if you are need of a good laugh, please visit the Iron Maiden blog (linked to the right) & watch the You Tube clip. It's HILARIOUS! Thanks to Di for sharing that!

I really want to say thanks to those of you who've been a great support for me! I've been sad lately & it's expected having Christmas without Mom but it's through grace & blessings that I can really get through some of these days!

Merry Christmas to you all!

Move over Martha!!!!

Okay, so this blog is mostly about health but it's about happiness too right? What made me happier than a holiday baking frenzy? To date I've baked the following...

Snickerdoodles
Chocolate Covered Cherry Cookies
Santa's Surprise (PB cookie dough wrapped around a snickers then topped with powdered sugar & chocolate drizzle)
Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
White Chocolate & Cranberry Cookies
Saltine Toffee
Peppermint Bark

Still needing to be baked are the Mexican Wedding Cakes. Mom used to make them all the time & I never could do them right. Here's hoping I can do her proud & make them turn out!

Yep, it's been a fun weekend baking & I've enjoyed some goodies but it's been within reason...mostly! lol

I sent a bunch home with Kevin on Monday, will take some to work & will also take them to his parents for Christmas then also to my families Christmas on the 27th.

I've been reflecting on my life, health, etc & find that sometimes I just think too much! lol Go figure right...I am a woman! Life is good & while I want certain things I honestly have no complaints. I guess that's what the holidays do to us, huh? Make us count our blessings!

Have you counted yours today?

Holiday's are FUN!

So Thanksgiving has come & gone. It was a good time as usual! Ate what I wanted, enjoyed every bite & never felt stuffed!

Let's see if we can manage that with 3 days of Christmas! We'll spend Christmas Eve at my great uncle's with some FAB italian cooking (aunt's side), Christmas day with Kevin's family then Saturday after Christmas with my family! AND we are gone Sunday for the Purdue vs. Valparaiso University men's B-Ball game too!

Then.....bring on my birthday cake!! Not sure what our New Year's plans are at this point but it'll be low key this year. We talked about just going to his brother's house so maybe we'll just do that.

I've been REALLY bad about keeping up with folks lately. I've honestly never been any good at it to be honest but it's been worse lately. So my apologies for that!

I'm getting ready to do a holiday baking frenzy too & am excited for that. I've got some new recipes from friends...chocolate covered cherry cookies, Santa's suprise (which are basically PB cookie dough wrapped around a little snickers then covered with powdered sugar & chocolate drizzle.) Oh yea baby!

All my holiday decorations are up too!

As for other stuff, I'm about 18 weeks out from my half marathon in the spring & then a month after that will be the 25K with Marcia! So excited!

Nutrition stuff is going pretty well, had some issues resulting from lower carb but we are on track (with Joe's guidance of course) to get things back in order. Honestly, I'm just wanting to coast/maintain through the holidays. I'm on track now...will derail for the above noted holiday events then will jump right back on. Living life as I like to call it!

Happy holidays everyone & thanks for being a part of my crazy life!

God bless!